My thoughts are trending a bit to the melancholy side today. And I’m contemplating the Circle of Life. And the brevity of life. Just a vapor and then it’s gone.
My Grandma died Friday afternoon. 91 years and a few months on this earth and now she is HOME in heaven! Home with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Tears slide down my cheeks as I think of how wonderful that must be! She can now walk upright and freely, without a cane and it doesn’t take her forever to get places! She’s free of pain, no longer too weak to get around, and the joy must be overwhelming!
Grandma King was the last living Grandparent we had in our family. My husbands grandparents died several years ago and my other grandma died 2 years ago in December. So this is truly the end of an era for us. The oldest generation for us now is our parents. That feels a bit funny. When did we quit being young and turn to middle-aged? And when did our parents become ‘older’? These changes happen so quickly as we get busier and busier with raising families, running businesses, all the responsibilities that go along with being adults.
My Grandma King was a unique person. I never had a really close relationship with her but I have lots of memories of her and Grandpa. As kids my sister, brother, and I would stay with them occasionally when my Mom needed a sitter. Grandma was always crotcheting something and Grandpa would peel apples for us, eating the peal himself as we didn’t like it. He’d get out the cheese puffs and baloney and cheese for us and Grandma would chuckle a bit over it. Grandma was a take charge, I’ll-tell-you-how sort of person. She knew how she wanted things and it didn’t bother her to tell everyone else how and what to do! Grandpa usually indulged her but I remember him doing his own thing on the sly a few times 😀 Grandma sewed a lot and she passed on some cool feed sack fabrics to me a couple days before she died.
Grandma hadn’t been walking well for a long time. She used a cane and it was taking her a long time to get from place to place in her house. She lived at home until just 2 days before she died. Last weekend my parents got a call from Lifeline saying Grandma had pushed her button and was not responding to them. My parents went to her house and she had fallen to her hands and knees beside the bed and could not get up. Dad helped her up and into bed and checked her the next morning. She said she was too weak to walk and Dad was having to help her to the bathroom and get her in a wheelchair where she would stay for the day. Grandma didn’t want help coming to her home, she wanted to go to a nursing home. So Mom and Dad found an assisted living place for her and we moved her stuff over last Tuesday night and they moved Grandma in on Wednesdy. Friday morning she wasn’t doing well, blood pressure up, breathing hard, and pulse dropping. She told my Dad she just wanted to go to heaven. Sometime around 3pm she did just that. I am so happy for her that she is now free of this life and with Jesus.
I think of her reuniting with Grandpa. With my Aunt Donna who died of cancer several years ago. My baby brother. My other grandparents. Her brother and sisters. And other family and friends who have gone before. If I could I’d have her give them hugs from me. Most of all I think of her joy at seeing her Savior. The older I get the more I long for the day I will meet Him face to face. And I envy Grandma just a bit. She lived her life here and now she’s done with this earth and gone. It also puts things here that I stress over back into perspective. In the end it really doesn’t matter – all those little things that seem so important and big to me now.
My brother and sister and her family will be traveling in from Kansas tomorrow (sunday) After the funeral we will go ahead and have Christmas with them before they head back home. Plans change when there is a death in the family. My girls are not overjoyed with the changed in plans and that their cousins will probably not be here as long as normal. Pray for them that they can learn that sometimes life doesn’t take the path that we plan and that God is in control and that we sometimes have to choose to be happy about the way things fall. I just shipped out my last two big pillow orders for the year. My assistant seamstress is sewing up the last dozen and also taking on another custom project I had been putting off because I was too busy. I’m so thankful I have help that can fill in for me.
Pray for my parents as they go through making funeral arrangements and get through the funeral. They are handling this all on their own. My father only had one brother and he lives out-of-state and his health is not good enough to enable him to come for the funeral. All decisions and arrangements are up to my parents. We are helping where we can and my Mom has sisters and church friends who are helping where they can but it is a lot in a short time and it is exhausting, both physically and emotionally.
If you think about it you can pray for us and my parents as we go into the new year too. We will have the task of going through Grandma’s things and deciding what to do with them all. She has some cool things and it will be fun to have some of them. But a lot will have to be sold or donated and her house will have to be sold or rented. It will be a big job and as I’ve already stated it’s just my parents to take care of it (and we can help with what we can)
If your grandparents are still living and you celebrate Christmas with them, pay special attention to your time together this year. You never know when it will be the last. We never celebrated Christmas with my Grandma and Grandpa King but in the years since Grandpa died we have made an effort to take gifts to Grandma and include her in some of our Christmas meals each year. She seemed to enjoy that even though she never ‘did Christmas’ much before.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening to my ramblings. Putting it all out here was cathartic for me today.
Have a Blessed Sunday,
Jill
You know the saying it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Well those of us who have never had parents and or grandparents will tell you its not just a blank we feel, it’s a stabbing pain of emptiness that never truly goes away. You had so many good years and now pain. And good parents still it sounds like. Good grandparents formed your good parents that formed you a good mom. What a great foundation to get you guys through. Add your strong faith in God and the prayers of all and you guys will be good to go! God Bless!
I totally agree Tammy and I’m so sorry that you’ve had so much pain in your life. I pray God wraps you in His love and grace and carries you!
Ah yes sweet Jill. As you may know my 92 year old grandmother passed away two weeks ago and I am taking it so so hard. The smart part of me says that she is in a glorious place. The selfish part of me wants to stamp my feet and yell “No!” As my parents have already passed I am now the oldest generation and that feels REALLY strange. But every moment is a gift. I know you know this. In this season of busy may we remember to focus on quiet reflection of the goodness.
Yes, Laura, I’ve thought of you a lot since your Grandma died. I know you were very close to her. God bless you as you adjust – I know it’s not easy!
I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman. It’s funny that you said what I’ve been thinking for some time now that everyone shifts positions eventually. My parents are now in my grandparents position (since they have passed on). Now we are in our parents position. And so it goes…….. We don’t have any more living grandparents. They have been gone for years now. My husband just lost his father over a month ago, so now we’re thinking about the loss of our elderly parents (not grandparents). It really makes you think of your own mortality when it starts reaching so close to you. I know how much work is involved with dealing with funeral plans and parting with their things after death, since my husband and his sister have had that to deal with. I hope all of that will go smoothly for your family.
Thank you so much Kelly. Blessings to you!
I am so sorry or your loss but understand when you know that she has met our Savior face to face and can be happy for her. this is the first year since my mother went Home that I have not been relieved to have gotten my fathers Christmas cards sent out for him. he was determined to have their card list taken care of because it had been so important to them; especially Mom.it was something I was so happy to be able to do for him and not doing it this year emphasizes his absence from here. our pastor says it is trading in ones “earth suit” for our new heavenly body. I hope you will have a great holiday season in spite of this challenge.
Thank you Brenda. I cannot imagine how hard death would be without the hope of heaven!
This is a joyously sad time. So much joy that you grandmother is with the Lord, but sad for those left behind as you will miss her. My prayers are with you and your family during this hard, painful time. My family is getting smaller too, my uncle passed away on Dec. 1 at the age of 97, and we are waiting on the national cemetery to give us a day and time for his interment. Now his wife and my father (93) are the only ones left from their generation and you are right, it is weird to moving up in the generational ladder. Thank God for His salvation and hope of heaven!
Thank you so very much Susan!
Jill, I am so sorry for your loss. I never had grandparents & I envy you for the many years you had with yours. My father died in 2000 & I still grieve for him from time to time but God reassures me that he is with our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. That is really all that counts. We are busy with “things” on this earth but when we lose someone we love we are reminded how short life is & how fragile life is. I learned that mainly from working as an RN for almost 40 yrs & I learned it through the many personal losses I have experienced in my life (I’ll be 66 in Feb.) If we live long enough on this earth we will all experience grief & loss. The Lord is our Comforter & reassures us that one day we will see our loved ones again & never again will we have to deal with suffering, pain or death. I will pray for you and your family. God bless you all!
Thank you so much for blessing me with your sweet comment Tricia. I was very blessed to know my Grandparents.
Jill,
Your thoughts are so beautifully expressed. Our family recently celebrated my mother’s 90th birthday. Her health is fragile. When she passes, I will be the the oldest, the family matriarch. I have recently thought about how that will feel. Life passes so quickly. It seems that just yesterday, I brought my newborn babies home. Now they are welcoming children of their own. Enjoy your time on this earth, while remembering that your next life will be better.
May God comfort you and your family.
Thank you Ren. Enjoy the last years with your Mother!
I’m sorry for your loss but rejoice with you that she is in heaven. Oh how blessed she was to only have to live in a nursing home less than a week. My parents ages 92 and 93 have been in assisted living/nursing home since 2010. My mother has been bedridden for over two years. In the last six months my Dad is not able to move around by himself. Seeing them like this is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I pray frequently that The Lord will call them home. The only good thing is they are in a room together.
Thank you Nancy. That is hard to see your parents not able to get around. I’m very thankful that Grandma didn’t have to linger not feeling well and unable to help herself. And my prayers are with you as you help care for your parents.
My condolences to all branches of your family tree. May everyone find peace knowing she is truly “free” at last.
You are spot in about life. It is fleeting! Waste no time in regret or things not done. Be thankful and grateful for all that has passed and yet to come.
Blessing our friend, Hope
Thank you Hope. Have a blessed week!
Sorry to hear about your Grammy, it’s hard to lose someone so special. My own Grammy passed away at a young, still active 104 and I wanted her to stay for my own selfish reasons. We get so used to having them that it’s hard to let them go. May your numerous wonderful memories keep her forever close.
Thank you Sharon. I’m so happy my Grandma is now in heaven – it’s what she wanted and it’s so joyful for her!
Jill my heart and prayers are with you and all of your family. I know it’s a difficult time and so much to work through. I know the children don’t quite understand and that makes it all the more difficult. I pray for guidance for them and peace for you and your patents. Please know there is so much love here for you. May God wrap his arms around you and give you strength.
Cheri
Thank you Cheri, from the bottom of my heart. You blessed my day!
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you will be a much needed support for your parents. I will pray for them, and for you, that comfort and love will guide you through this difficult time. xoxo
Thank you so much Ronda.
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you Susan!
So sorry for your loss. We are currently going through the same journey. My 88 yr.old dad is now in a nursing home and we have started what they call comfort measures. He still knows us (which is so hard) but he can’t move. He’s not eating and he is in the last stages of congestive heart failure. The last few weeks have been the hardest days of my life. I, like your parents, have been in charge of his care due to my siblings living out of state. I’ve had to make tough choices and decisions. I too have prayed God would take him to heaven, he has so much waiting for him on the other side! But, I know everything is God’s timing, not mine or his. How precious these days have been to know I will see him again some day, not as I’m seeing him now, but in a perfect body with a perfect mind. Thanks for sharing your heart with me, and thanks for letting me share mine! God bless you and your family during these days.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Debbie and I really hope your Father doesn’t have to suffer and linger long. It gets to a point that it is a blessing for them to just go home to Jesus. May God give you peace and comfort through this.