Dad always said………………… I’m sure you could fill in the blank.
I’m sure we all have things we remember our Dad (or Mom) saying to us a lot. Things that were important. Things they believed in. Things they wanted imprinted on our minds till they were never forgotten. This one from my Dad is important, probably about the most important one he ever said.
“There are worse things in life than NOT getting married.”
He said it a lot. And I believed him. My parents had a good marriage. They still do. But that is not always the case. My best friend’s parents marriage crumbled and died. I had a front row seat to the drama. Today I have cousins and friends who are struggling with failing marriages. It hurts my heart. I want to help. I want to FIX it. I don’t want my children dealing with the issues they will be facing as they go into adulthood and seek relationships and contemplate marriage.
Marriage was created and ordained by God from the very beginning of time. One man and one woman. Adam and Eve. God performed the first marriage ceremony, presenting Eve to Adam – created from a rib taken from Adam’s side. Close to his heart. By his side. Created lovely and so uniquely different from Adam to complement him perfectly. Two halves coming together to create the perfect, God-sanctioned whole.
Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Matthew 19:6
And it was whole and beautiful. For awhile.
Then Satan stepped into the idyllic, perfect Garden of Eden and everything changed. Temptation came and Eve succumbed. Perfection was forever marred. The Garden’s gate was locked and guarded, its human occupants forever barred from entering. Thorns and thistles took the place of sweet fruits and lush vegetables. Adam and Eve now worked hard to exist, sweat and tears replacing the Joy and Fellowship of Eden.
So too, began marriage to suffer. No longer did the union of two souls flow together perfectly and effortlessly. Anger, fear, jealousy, and selfishness had entered the human realm. Now marriage took work. Man and Woman no longer understood each other. Quarrels and frustration robbed the marriage union of Joy and Peace.
Without God’s plan to redeem man back to Him, Adam and Eve and all the rest of us wouldn’t have had a hope of a chance. Satan would have won before the battle even began. But God DID have a plan – set in place before He set time in motion – just in case. No greater more infinite Love has ever been or ever will be.
As man needs Jesus Christ to save him back to God, so our marriages need God to keep them strong and healthy and glorifying Him. Satan realizes that by attacking the family unit, which begins with a man and a woman united in marriage, he can make great inroads against God’s plan. Ultimately God wins. We know that. Satan will be defeated, crushed, put in chains, banished forever.
But today my friend the battle rages, and we have to fight! Fight and win!
If God is in your marriage – do whatever it takes to keep Him there.
If God is not in your marriage – do whatever it takes to get Him there.
If you are married – do whatever it takes to stay married.
If you are not married – seek God for His will for your husband or wife. And remember Dad always said, “There are worse things than not getting married.” Don’t get married just to get married!
If your marriage is struggling – do whatever it takes – get help – cry to God – seek His will.
If your marriage is already over – cling to God and He will carry you and show you His plan for your future.
Let’s take a stand against the enemy as he continues his rampage to destroy the family and marriage. Thumb our noses at the devils attempts to ruin what can be, through Christ, a beautiful, glorious, God-sanctioned thing – MARRIAGE.
I pray for each of you who reads this today that God will be very near you, whatever situation you find yourself in. I pray He wraps His loving arms around you and comforts, consoles, wipes tears, shares your joys, laughs with you, guides you, strengthens you and blesses you.
Have a blessed Sunday
Sew a Fine Seam
Very well said, and beautiful pictures to boot
I told Sam a while back that I was going to start greeting people with ‘how is your marriage?’ instead of ‘how are you?’ It was like 15 years ago everyone was getting married and now everyone is separating. I’m like you: I want to fix it. I hate it.
But I do like your dad! 🙂
Mrs. K says
The problem is we think our spouse is there to make us happy when really they are there to refine us and make us holy. We need to take the “for better or worse” part more seriously.
Becky King says
Amen! Well said. I needed this reminder.
Nana Diana says
That is a wonderful message, Jill. Well thought out and very heart-felt- xo Diana
Wise words. Broken marriages make me sick to my stomach.
My dad always told us, “Fagess net vel do bisht.” Which means, ‘Don’t forget who you are.’ I think that could apply in marriage as well as to a teenager. We can’t forget that we are daughters (and sons) of the King. If we remembered that, our marriages wouldn’t have any issues.
Blessings on your Sunday!
There is a book out called “How to date your wife”……it’s by a pastor, it’s short and funny + very good. His point? Never to stop dating each other! Although Luke likes to join us on our dates LOL….he is so fun to have along though!
Easy to get bogged down by the mundane things of life & forget to go on dates….
Matt’s mom gave us one overnight babysitting a month plus a coupon book for restaurants…..it’s such a blessing…the best gift ever 😉
Becky King says
And before your Dad said it to you, my parents said it to me. A good legacy to have. Thanks again for a well written, timely post. God bless our marriages.
Liz @ Quirky Vistas says
Beautifully written, Jill!
I love this post. Love it.
Anything worth anything usually requires time, attention and some good ole hard work. Marriage is no different. Marriage has certainly shown me my own selfishness. I agree very much with Mrs. K’s comment. I can still find myself falling into that mindframe. Love the book Sacred Marriage which is written on that premise.
Jill Flory says
Thank you Cindy. I have a great Dad and Mom and they have been a wonderful example!
Daniela @frugal ain't cheap says
sad but true. Often people think that their spouse is the problem, when in reality our past, our circumstances, our stuff it’s the problem. Our spouse happens to share life with us and push our buttons more often than others…hence they get the “blame”. But that’s why even when people re-married they face the same problems…they have not dealt with their stuff, and the other person keeps triggering them. We have to deal with our triggers, why certain things makes us feel a certain way. I truly loved this post.
Jill Flory says
Thank you Daniela. It makes me so sad to see the world my kids are growing up in! Prayer is ever so much more important to cover them with in these confusing days!
Kendra @ A Proverbs 31 Wife says
I hear exactly what you are saying! It seems like the whole world is discontent with who they are, what they have, and their entire life. I suppose it would seem that a better spouse is out there, if one is discontent.
I’m really glad you shared this, great thoughts!
Jill Flory says
The only person in the world we can change is ourselves! So hard to remember that when I want my hubby to do the changing!
Linda Henline says
My mother always said “There are worse things than not being married, one is being married!